Scientific Ink

Tag: Yoga

  • The power of retreat

    Earlier this year, I took a week’s vacation and came back with a realization.

    I went to Austria with my husband and friends in March. I left behind my cell phone, my laptop, email, IM, everything.

    Just before I left, I feared my family was about to bust apart (stepmother and sister and I were in some deeply uncomfortable discussions about money and shared ownership). I dreaded going away for a week and brooding on the dissolution of my family. Somehow, we accomplished some major repair work by cell phone on the way to the airport. So, family as intact as it ever was, I was able to leave the country with a clear heart and be far away.

    I had several books, the company of friends, and was able to hide out in the mountains in a country where I don’t speak the language. I tried to learn to ski, I went for long walks in foothills. We took a day trip to Italy. We tried several varieties of schnapps. And I didn’t think about home all that much, except to be grateful for the lack of worry.

    After that most complete retreat, I saw the world differently. On the plane ride home, I realized that it was time for me to find a new job. It really was that simple, like crossing a threshold. Something about going away, about really taking a break, changed my perspective entirely.

    The hard part for me is taking that practice and incorporating it into my everyday life. I don’t always have a week to spare to realign my head. The hard part about being an adult is that there is (often) no watchful responsible party to call a timeout. So, I need to look for little opportunities to restore my energies, whether through a nap, meditation, a walk, a bike ride, or taking a long bath with a copy of the New Yorker magazine. I need to become a better judge of when to give myself downtime instead of pushing through whatever it is that seems important.

    I might never know what that rest might provide in terms of insight or new perspective.

  • Yoga for Scoliosis workshop

    I travelled to Cleveland to attend Elise Browning Miller’s yoga for scoliosis and yoga for the shoulders, neck and upper back workshops at Evolution Yoga. In lieu of a real post, here are some factoids:

    • 4 – muscles involved in stabilizing the rotator cuff
    • ~40 – the number of women attending the workshop
    • 2 – males attending Saturday afternoon (dad and young son)
    • 558 – miles that the mom, dad, and son travelled from St. Louis. MO to attend Elise’s 3 hour yoga for scoliosis workshop Saturday afternoon before driving back
    • 2 – people who asked me if I worked there
    • 6 – pillows on my bed at the Hampton Inn, all down
    • 2 – meals eaten at Wild Oats grocery store in Woodmere, OH
    • 2 – times I walked into Cold Stone Creamery and decided against getting ice cream
    • 12 – years since I took a workshop from Elise in Kalamazoo

  • Make it suck less

    So, I did it again. I have spent much of the last two days trying to edit a technical document into something that I can understand and that exceeds my standards for clear and informative writing. I’ve been line editing, I’ve been working on organization, I’ve been pinging subject matter experts for examples and to clarify points that do not come across well to me, I’ve been excising passive voice. Essentially, I’ve become a tech writer again. And I’m struggling. The document is due, I’m not happy with it, and I don’t think I can line edit my way to nirvana.

    I came home tonight frustrated, needing a break from the document, but fretting about the looming deadline. And then, sitting on my yoga mat starting my practice, I realized that I was trying to grope my way through this document towards the perfect document. And, I noticed I was wasting energy beating myself up for not knowing which thread to pull or which angle to pursue to get there.

    The place I used to work had several catchy phrases we used when we were stuck: “make mistakes faster” was one, “make it suck less” was another. They’re intertwined – “make mistakes faster” is an acknowledgement that we’ll make errors and omissions, but we can reduce their impact by conducting shorter project iterations and sharing work with each other more quickly. The spirit of “make it suck less” is to find satisfaction in incremental improvements. Instead of pining for the perfect solution, instead of whining about the lack of time, tools, or creativity to accomplish whatever unrealistic goal, take stock, prioritize the options, and make it as much better as you can.

    Basically, for me, the inverse of “make it suck less” is rampant, soul-throttling perfectionism that gets in the way of doing the little things that add together into the big things. It’s analysis paralysis, endless theorizing, pining for some ideal document/software program/website. It is trying too hard. It is Anne Lamott’s radio station KFKD – the double whammy of self-aggrandizement and self-loathing that gets in the way of getting any actual work done.

    Luckily, if I take a rest, go for a cycle ride, or do yoga, I give myself the space to notice that KFKD is on, I give myself the quiet to remember that that all I can do, all I need to do in this moment, is to “make it suck less”, to work with what I have and be patient.

  • Becoming a yoga teacher in Ann Arbor

    Today I went to a yoga class in Osterville, MA with my mother-in-law and her neighbor. After class I had a quick chat with the instructor, who out of the blue asked me what type of yoga I studied and whether I was considering becoming a yoga teacher. I had a hard time answering the first question, and the answer to the second was “yes!”

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  • Carless -> Careless?

    Car-free for a week now. Not going too badly.

    Getting to the “distant” yoga studio has been easy. Once, I used my Go! Pass and made it to my yoga studio from work faster than it would have taken me to walk home, get my car, drive, and then park. Another day, I walked the 2 miles to the studio for a dance class and then got a ride home from a friend.

    The weekend was super easy, as I was in New York and New Jersey, and everywhere I needed to go was accessible by train or subway.

    This week has been a bit more challenging, husband is travelling and insisted on driving to the airport, leaving me without a backup vehicle. Groceries were easy: our CSA share from Tantre Farm arrived, and then I made a quick walking trip to the People’s Food Co-op for the rest of last night’s dinner of potatoes, chick peas, and rapini. Rushing off to the yoga studio seemed secondary to enjoying the fresh organic food in my own fridge.

    I’ll have to wait until the weekend to pick up my prescription from Target (why are there no pharmacies downtown?), but my allergy pills will last me until then. And, if not, I’ll only sneeze and rub my eyes, nothing horrible.

    It’s been interesting, having things a little bit harder to get around means I’m more careful with my time and schedule. This no-car thing might actually make me kinder to myself.

  • Gratitude and Giving

    Last fall, Susan invited me to consider taking on Seva as the Dakshina coordinator for my local meditation center. This means that I am the point person for giving to our center and SYDA, the foundation that supports the global mission.

    Now, this made me deeply uncomfortable for several reasons: I tend to avoid sharing about my spiritual path and I tend to avoid talking about money. My urge to spiritual secrecy is relaxing, though I am still uncomfortable talking about it with folks whom I’m not sure will be open-minded and supportive (that is, pretty much anyone outside the community). And as for money, my family lived in a wealthy area, but we had some hard times, and if I can, I hide both the lack and abundance of money reflexively. I think I’m also opening up here, learning to trust and share more.

    So, after the usual fear and anxiety responses, I decided it was a perfect assignment to work on my “issues”.

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