Category: Life

Make it suck less

So, I did it again. I have spent much of the last two days trying to edit a technical document into something that I can understand and that exceeds my standards for clear and informative writing. I’ve been line editing, I’ve been working on organization, I’ve been pinging subject matter experts for examples and to clarify points that do not come across well to me, I’ve been excising passive voice. Essentially, I’ve become a tech writer again. And I’m struggling. The document is due, I’m not happy with it, and I don’t think I can line edit my way to nirvana.

I came home tonight frustrated, needing a break from the document, but fretting about the looming deadline. And then, sitting on my yoga mat starting my practice, I realized that I was trying to grope my way through this document towards the perfect document. And, I noticed I was wasting energy beating myself up for not knowing which thread to pull or which angle to pursue to get there.

The place I used to work had several catchy phrases we used when we were stuck: “make mistakes faster” was one, “make it suck less” was another. They’re intertwined – “make mistakes faster” is an acknowledgement that we’ll make errors and omissions, but we can reduce their impact by conducting shorter project iterations and sharing work with each other more quickly. The spirit of “make it suck less” is to find satisfaction in incremental improvements. Instead of pining for the perfect solution, instead of whining about the lack of time, tools, or creativity to accomplish whatever unrealistic goal, take stock, prioritize the options, and make it as much better as you can.

Basically, for me, the inverse of “make it suck less” is rampant, soul-throttling perfectionism that gets in the way of doing the little things that add together into the big things. It’s analysis paralysis, endless theorizing, pining for some ideal document/software program/website. It is trying too hard. It is Anne Lamott’s radio station KFKD – the double whammy of self-aggrandizement and self-loathing that gets in the way of getting any actual work done.

Luckily, if I take a rest, go for a cycle ride, or do yoga, I give myself the space to notice that KFKD is on, I give myself the quiet to remember that that all I can do, all I need to do in this moment, is to “make it suck less”, to work with what I have and be patient.

October 4, 2007
Moment of choice

Over the past few years, my husband and I have had a regular Friday night fight. The source of the friction is a standing Friday night poker game. I’ve tried, but I just don’t like it. Too much drinking, too much focus on poker, just not my thing. I’ve never really liked playing organized card or board games with people. I always lose interest about 60% of the way through and feel very trapped through the last 40%. Dave loves it–the people, the poker, the whole scene. So, each Friday I’d somehow hope he’d want to spend it with me instead of smoking cigars and hanging with the poker crew. Each Friday I’d feel let down and left out. Some Fridays, I’d organize an alternative for the both of us, but if I wasn’t proactive, the default plan was for him to go to poker and me to feel cross.

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October 3, 2007
“Baby” photos reveal threads of our future selves

Friends of ours had a baby shower today. A few days ago, the mom-to-be asked if we would bring baby photos for a game they were playing. I didn’t think I had any baby photos, so I emailed my mom and Dave’s mom to see if they could locate and scan a photo to share. We then brought them to the party where they were put on a bulletin board and folks had to guess who was who.

Well, my mom was at my sister’s in Atlanta, helping to herd my sister’s little ones, so she was far away from “the historical documents” and unable to find a true baby photo. But they searched and did find one from when I was 4. Dave’s mom found a great one of him when they were visiting his grandparents who were living in Africa. Maybe I’m projecting, but what strikes me about each of these photos is how much of our adult personality is already apparent.

In mine, I’m intent on the photographer, seeking to engage (playing rock, paper, scissors?), but also overwhelmed and attempting to hide behind my hair.

There’s something magical about Dave’s. To my eye, there is very little resemblance between his adult self and the tot in the photo – he’s no longer blonde, his Roman nose isn’t there yet…and still there’s something very Dave-like in the attitude/the glance. It’s a kind of intent absorption, a “don’t bother me, I’m busy here”, and of course an engineer’s interest in things with moving parts. Sheila recognized the photo instantly as one of him because of his expression.

Note – I realized this morning that this is entirely circular. I’m guessing the reason these photos charmed our moms enough to have them select them from whatever else they had was particularly this thread. From the set of all photographs, our moms picked the ones that most captured us. 9/16/2007

September 15, 2007
Bathroom Renovation
Our big news is that we had our bathroom gutted this summer. On August 6, they came in and knocked our old bathroom out, tossing it in pieces out the little window, down a chute, and into a skip in the driveway. It came apart quickly. It has come back together a bit more slowly.

My husband put his engineering degree to use in rigging up a shower in the basement out of 2 garden hoses, a submersible sump pump, an inflatable kiddy pool, and an outdoor shower setup. I was completely skeptical and imagined trekking to the Ann Arbor Y for showers, but it’s been absolutely fine.

When they first ripped out the old fixtures, plaster, and floor, I was shocked at how tiny the room looked. And, I wondered why we’d bothered writing that very big check to destroy this very small room. It seemed impossibly small when it was empty.

It’s starting to look like a real bathroom now, and the design decisions we made are starting to twinkle out at me, reminding me that I really did dislike cozying up to the toilet just so I could wash my hands in the sink. The big improvement was a pocket door, by freeing up the space for the door swinging into the room, we got to give the toilet and sink some distance from each other.

It’s not done yet, but we’re seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

Folks who contributed include:
- Angelini & Associates Architects and
- Sean Smith Custom Carpentry.
September 11, 2007
Three Cups of Tea

I remember where I was on September 11, 2001. I was at my old job, working on a computer, not tuned into the news, when a colleague called and told us to tune into CNN. A rushing sense of unreality, helplessness, and shock followed. Then, we invaded Afghanistan, and I worried about the long-term effects of our military intervention as well as the immediate suffering it would create.

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September 6, 2007
Whose bone is this, anyway?

Mystery bone – from above, originally uploaded by dunrie.

I have a doctorate in biology. But I studied plants and insects. And neither plants nor insects have bones, so I’m officially excused from having to know what this is.

We first thought it was a cranium, but it didn’t seem to have the characteristics I’d need to key it out on online keys. Anyway, I’m completely stumped. The “eye sockets” seem much too small to be….pretty much anything. I’m hoping one of my bio-friends knows the answer. Bueller…? Bueller?

Note 9/6/2007: this appears to be an avian pelvic girdle – thanks AnnaBess! We’re guessing a cormorant, which would make sense given the number of cormorants out on Waquoit Bay and the Vineyard Sound.

September 5, 2007