Tag: Family

  • When you look at your hands, what do you see?

    I attended the RubberBand Dance Group performance at the Power Center in Ann Arbor on Friday January 9. I enjoyed the choreography, the staging, the mixture of video and music and dance, and the play of the dancers and choreography with the audience. I had a great evening, and I came away energized.

    My hands
    My hands are just like my mother's hands

    I wanted to write about a particular moment during the piece Hasta La Proxima, Choreographer and Dancer Victor Quijada led the audience through a kind of contemplation via video projection. In it, after asking us all to breathe deeply and look out at the world with softly focused eyes, he asked the audience to look at our own hands and asked what we thought when we looked at them. He said something  poetic about the people he’s loved, and those he has hurt.

    I had such a clear thought when I looked at my hands, that I knew I had to write it. 

    I have my mother’s hands. I realize I am a mixture of my mother’s and my father’s DNA, but it appears as if I got some pieces whole and unsullied by the other parent. In the case of hands and feet, I got mine directly from my mother. We both have long fingers and a big knob at the wrist. I recognize the veins on the back of my hands in hers. Years after their divorce, my father once gasped when he saw my bare foot. “You have your mother’s foot” he said. 

    When I look at my hands, I see my mother’s hands. When I look at my hands, I see love.

    When you look at YOUR hands, what do YOU see?

  • Easy holiday shopping (gratitude # 47)

    I think this was the easiest Christmas shopping season ever. We did a mix of local and online shopping, and I feel in control and not stressed about at least this one thing at this point in the holiday season.

    I threw myself on the mercy of Vicki at Ann Arbor’s funky, fun store Heavenly Metal and she set me up with great gifts for the hard-to-buy-for – my sister-in-law and my stepfather. Plus she showed me something nice and something local to give to a work colleague – al dente pasta from Whitmore Lake, MI.

    A twitter friend, Keith Burtis from MagicWoodworks.com, made my gift for my mother-in-law, and I’ll be knitting my gift for my mother (though I’ll need another trip to the local yarn store and a bit of time to finish it before Christmas!).

    My sister and I decided we would contribute to charity in lieu of purchasing presents for each other, and she helped me choose clothes and toys for her kids.

    We did a little online shopping to round out the list, but I feel that I was able to get some personal and unique presents this year with a minimum of stress.

  • Fun creative pursuits with family (gratitude #45)

    My in-laws visited, and my mother-in-law and I spent as much time as we could knitting. We compared yarns and brainstormed projects, we exchanged patterns and even traded needles. She had just finished a lacy scarf and lamented that she wanted to put beads on it. I had a crazy beaded mohair, so I borrowed the pattern and started to make it on her bamboo size 13 needles. She had a packet of fun yarns that she was going to turn into a scarf, and she was frustrated with their slipperiness on her aluminum needles, so I swapped her bamboo circular needles.

    I showed her Ravelry.com, the knitting community site to which I belong, so we can continue to share projects and patterns when she’s back home. I missed having her around when I went to the yarn store today to get another skein of the funky mohair to complete the lacy scarf.

    Some things are better shared. Wish she were closer. I’ll have to head on over to my local knitting meetup for more knitting cameraderie.

  • A taste of Detroit: tahini and Vernors (gratitude #44)

    The holidays is a time for family gatherings. We hosted my in-laws this weekend. Originally from Michigan, they love living in Massachusetts. Next weekend, I’m going to visit my sister in Tennessee. Born and raised in Michigan, my sister is happily now a southerner.

    But, I think that no matter how happy they are in their adopted homes, the tastes of home have a powerful pull. On their way out of town, my in-laws stopped to get a case of Vernors into the car. Apparently, they can’t find it in the Boston area. My sister called me this morning and asked me to bring tahini when I visit. The Detroit area has a strong Middle Eastern tradition, and she prefers what is available in Detroit Middle Eastern grocery stores to what is available in local health food stores in Tennessee.

    I’ve already got a stash of goodies to bring her. So, when I travel to Tennessee, I’ll be carrying dried Michigan cherries, Tahini from Lebanon, and ArborTeas Keemun tea from China. The taste of home, at least here in the Detroit area, has a global flavor ;).

  • Job changes, once removed (gratitude #43)

    My husband changed jobs. He wasn’t unhappy at the old one, just the opposite, but he got an opportunity for growth from a former employer and, after a fair bit of reflection, decided to take it. I’m happy for him and proud of him and all that. Really.

    I have also been anxious about it, and worried. Most of it is selfish worry, he’ll be gone more, with regular travel to Chicago and to Prague and to England and even farther afield like China and Korea. And I’m…here, working.

    Kitzbuhel city wallNot that I mind working really, after a few years of angst and searching I’ve found a place where I can stay, where I know my efforts make a difference, and where work on a smart team to do quality work for great clients. No complaints there. And, during my time of bouncing around and soul-searching, my husband was bedrock. Unflappable, confident I’d find my way, not in a rush for me to show results, he supported me without question.

    I suppose now it is my turn to cheerlead and support. And he’s going to be fine, more than fine. So I think it is more me I’m worried about than him. I think I’m feeling a little left behind. He started the new job last Friday, and went on the road immediately (left town Sunday). Today was his birthday and I wrapped and had him pack a small present (not beautifully wrapped, in case TSA wanted a peek) into his luggage for him to open.

    He’s going to have lots of travel, and several adventures, and I will be here, working, hanging with the cat and maybe we’ll Skype more but see each other less. I was really blue about this for a while, and my stress level has been all over the place. But this week, with him gone, has been alright, much better than I’d built it up to be in my head. I’ve been more than busy, attending social events after work and professional society events, so busy that I really really had to take tonight off and collect my head and do nothing because I was a very bent out of shape introvert. I always forget how much I like being alone.

    So, I’m still grateful for time alone despite my worries to the contrary, been chatting with my sister and college friends on the phone a little more, and I’ve had more dinner requests than I can capitalize on during his quick trip. So, there’s hope for friendships, local and distant, to fill in the gaps a little bit as the travel continues. I’m also contemplating what I can open the door to now that I’ll have more time available. Focusing on opportunity not anxiety. Really. Mostly.

  • Writing a letter to my five-year-old nephew (gratitude #42)

    So, my nephew is sad when he doesn’t get mail, and my sister asked if I would write him a letter. I was happy to, as he’s one of my absolute favorite humans, though I was also mildly stumped. What should I write?

    Kite tail

    I decided a letter at all was more important than the perfection of its contents, and I let my editor relax a bit.

    I know he just moved, from the Atlanta suburbs to Oak Ridge, Tennessee, and I’m going to visit in early December, so I asked him how his new school was, and what he could see from his bedroom window. I asked him if he was an Atlanta Falcons or a Tennessee Titans fan. I told him how much I was looking forward to seeing him, and I asked if we could go on a walk together when I arrived.

    It was sweet to write him and I am excited to mail my letter tomorrow. My husband will send one in maybe a week.

    I was reminded of myself as a child, how I envied my parents getting their junk mail and bills. I longed to get mail as a sign that I was alive as well. And I was reminded of the letters my grandfather Heinrich wrote me. He used to write me handwritten letters that I was thrilled to receive, and I was touched by his thoughtfulness. My sister mentioned he used to give us stationery. I forgot that part, but I still have the letters he sent me. Maybe it is time to review them and learn how to write a letter to a child you love, so I can pass along that tradition to my nephew.