My husband changed jobs. He wasn’t unhappy at the old one, just the opposite, but he got an opportunity for growth from a former employer and, after a fair bit of reflection, decided to take it. I’m happy for him and proud of him and all that. Really.
I have also been anxious about it, and worried. Most of it is selfish worry, he’ll be gone more, with regular travel to Chicago and to Prague and to England and even farther afield like China and Korea. And I’m…here, working.
Not that I mind working really, after a few years of angst and searching I’ve found a place where I can stay, where I know my efforts make a difference, and where work on a smart team to do quality work for great clients. No complaints there. And, during my time of bouncing around and soul-searching, my husband was bedrock. Unflappable, confident I’d find my way, not in a rush for me to show results, he supported me without question.
I suppose now it is my turn to cheerlead and support. And he’s going to be fine, more than fine. So I think it is more me I’m worried about than him. I think I’m feeling a little left behind. He started the new job last Friday, and went on the road immediately (left town Sunday). Today was his birthday and I wrapped and had him pack a small present (not beautifully wrapped, in case TSA wanted a peek) into his luggage for him to open.
He’s going to have lots of travel, and several adventures, and I will be here, working, hanging with the cat and maybe we’ll Skype more but see each other less. I was really blue about this for a while, and my stress level has been all over the place. But this week, with him gone, has been alright, much better than I’d built it up to be in my head. I’ve been more than busy, attending social events after work and professional society events, so busy that I really really had to take tonight off and collect my head and do nothing because I was a very bent out of shape introvert. I always forget how much I like being alone.
So, I’m still grateful for time alone despite my worries to the contrary, been chatting with my sister and college friends on the phone a little more, and I’ve had more dinner requests than I can capitalize on during his quick trip. So, there’s hope for friendships, local and distant, to fill in the gaps a little bit as the travel continues. I’m also contemplating what I can open the door to now that I’ll have more time available. Focusing on opportunity not anxiety. Really. Mostly.
