Yoga trance dance

In late summer, my friend Victoria and I followed an ad in the Ann Arbor Observer for “yoga trance dance”. It brought us to an unfamiliar yoga studio on a Saturday night. No one was there, but the door was open, so we let ourselves in. Excited and unsure, we and another stranger waited in vain. Turns out the Observer had the wrong date, and the event had been the previous evening.

Well, after many months of either being out of town, otherwise committed, or forgetful, I finally went last night. The event has switched to Saturday evenings and changed host studios to A2YogaWorks, but it was good to finally act on my long-dormant intention, only maybe 5 months later!

I have to say that I was apprehensive. I just may be the most self-conscious person on the planet, so the image of myself free-form dancing with a roomful of strangers was somewhat uncomfortable. Worse, my partner-in-crime Victoria wasn’t available. So I was on my own.

I’m happy to say that the room was dark, the mirrors were mostly hidden, and Jo, one of trance dance’s teacher/leaders, laughed sweetly at my fearful shyness and welcomed me with a warm hug. In the new space, there were many first-time trance-dancers, so that was good.

I noticed all my usual yoga mind-trips: self-criticism “I’m too tall”, judgment of others “my neighbor is too close”, fear “I will hit her” (I actually did), longing “boy, I wish I had room to spread my arms”, more longing “gosh I wish I was over there near the door where they have more room”, and jealousy “wow, look, that woman got her guy to come too, what’s wrong with my relationship that I’m here without mine?”. These judgments and complaints passed, and I got into the thumping music, the feeling of freedom in my scoliotic back and tight hips, the feeling of play, and the flow of it despite my chattering, judging mind. 

I had a great time. I’m mildly sore in weird places, and I was a big sweatball when I left, so it was a good workout and some good stretching. But the most important thing was the feeling of it. It reinforced to me how the way I act influences the way I feel. Moving joyfully fosters a feeling of joy. I have been feeling more free and open today, both physically and otherwise. It’s nice.

And, it connected me very strongly to similar experiences. Over the bridge of many years, I vividly recalled dancing to the jukebox in the basement of Charter in college with Dina, who may be the most vital person I know, and Betty, more contained like me, but with a subtle spark and a spunk I’ve always admired. I remembered dancing with my sweetly earnest college boyfriend Mark, who avoided it, but who saw my joy in it and pushed himself to join me. After many years, and after the inevitable hard feelings following our breakup, that touched me again, his reaching out.

The dancing reconnected me to my 21-year-old self, to cherished friendships that span long distances, and to a joyful vitality that comes to me through movement. I wondered why I hadn’t been dancing more. A2YogaWorks hosts one the first Saturday of each month.