So, a week ago already, I met two friends/former colleagues for coffee/tea. I joke that we’re all refugees, having left the same place when it had very little work. The three of us caught up on our current situations, shared a few successes, and commiserated over challenges. It was great: it helped me gain some perspective on what had been a challenging week at work, on the old place, and the transitions we had all made.
Two of the three of us are on long-term contracts ending in December. I remember my own uncertainty last December, while there’s a part of me that misses that feeling of potential and that feeling of freedom, a larger part is relieved not to be revisiting that particular set of anxieties.
Two of the three of us are maintaining some relationship with the old place. One is a current client, and I was fascinated to hear about life on the other side.
None of us expressed regret about having left that particular set of problems
- not enough work
- no path for advancement/growth if there was work (cog mentality)
- non-scalability of certain essential pieces of the process/team (we were all interchangeable and replaceable except for those that weren’t….)
for our new problem sets, variously
- insufficient process maturity
- too much work/too little time
- unrealistic expectations
It’s not as if there are fewer challenges now, but I think that, at least for me, the new set is more palatable. Why is this? The only thing I can think of is that we each in our own way have a bit more agency in these new situations, and that we’re growing and learning different things, so it feels better.
Anyway, it was great to catch up and feel the support and understanding of old friends.
eric says
I stopped by there to return some books I had borrowed while I was spending more time there. I was hesitant to go, though I really wanted to return the books, because I don’t really feel like going back in and becoming a part of it again. I feel like I got what there was for me to get out of that experience. I learned some useful stuff, I met some interesting folks, and I also figured out that my path does not lie in the direction I felt myself moving in while there.
On the other hand, I am expecting to attend at least part of the holiday party (I’ll have to leave to run a performance of Nutcracker that evening) just because it will be nice to visit. Besides, there’s a chance my father and brother will be there again.
dunrie says
Yeah, my emotions about them are really convoluted. I avoid going by, yet of course the intensity with which I’m avoiding them and yet still talking about them is telling…
I learned a lot, and for that I’m grateful. But they did use up all of my goodwill towards them, I have not yet forgiven them for overtaking or myself for overgiving.
I’m going to maintain my current pattern and avoid the holiday party. Have fun, tho!